The Hidden Psychological Cost of High Achievement

This is part 1 of a two-part series. Read part 2 here: Managing Mental Health While Pursuing Ambitious Goals.

I am not going to lie. What I am about to share with you hit me hard. There was something really important that came up in a discussion that I think everyone should hear.

Something That Put Things in Perspective

Richard Wilson from the Family Office Club shared something that really got to me. One of the members of their community had passed away by suicide just a few days before this was recorded.

That is devastating. Here is someone who was part of this ultra-successful community, presumably had resources and access to the best help available, and still struggled.

It really highlights something important: success does not protect you from mental health challenges. Money does not make you immune to pain. Which is why what successful people actually do for their mental health matters so much.

But here is what I have come to realize after thinking about this for a while. The story Wilson shared is not an isolated incident. It is part of a pattern that runs much deeper than most people realize. The same drive that pushes people to the top can also drag them down.

The Hidden Psychological Cost of High Achievement

We tend to assume that reaching the top means you have solved all your problems. If someone has money, status, and recognition, surely they must be happy, right?

The research says otherwise. Studies consistently show that high achievers suffer from depression, anxiety, and burnout at rates comparable to, and sometimes higher than, the general population. A 2015 study in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that entrepreneurs were 50 percent more likely to report having a mental health condition compared to the general population. CEOs show elevated rates of depression too.

This is not a coincidence. The same personality traits that drive people to achieve extraordinary things often come with a dark side.

Famous People Who Struggled

I think it is easy to read statistics and not really feel them. So let me name some names.

Kanye West

One of the most gifted musicians and producers of his generation. Also someone who has been very open about his bipolar disorder. In 2016, he was hospitalized for a psychiatric emergency. In 2022, he went on public rants that cost him partnerships with Adidas, Gap, and Balenciaga, wiping out billions in value.

Here is what gets me. When you listen to Kanye’s early interviews, you hear a man driven by an almost painful level of self-belief and ambition. The same fire that made him a creative genius also made him unstable. You cannot separate the two.

Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln is often held up as one of America’s greatest presidents. What is less discussed is that he suffered from what they called “melancholy” back then. Today we would call it severe depression.

Some historians say Lincoln experienced depressive episodes throughout his life. As a young man, he spoke about not wanting to carry his life forward. Yet he led a country through its worst crisis, wrote some of the most beautiful prose in American history, and developed a sense of humor that charmed everyone around him.

He did not let his depression stop him. But it was always there. The power of solitude he developed may have helped him cope, but it came at a personal cost.

Winston Churchill

Churchill called his depression the “Black Dog.” He dealt with it for most of his life. Depressive episodes would hit him without warning, sometimes lasting for months.

He managed it through constant activity, painting, writing, drinking, and leading. During World War II, his energy was relentless. But the lows were real, and they never fully went away.

Michael Phelps

Phelps is the most decorated Olympian of all time. Twenty-three gold medals. But after the 2012 Olympics, he went into what he described as a deep depression. He stayed in his room for days. He had thoughts of suicide.

He eventually checked himself into a treatment facility. He now speaks openly about his mental health struggles and has become an advocate for therapy and treatment.

I find Phelps’s story particularly compelling because it shows that achieving the absolute peak in your field does not fix whatever is going on inside. He had everything most people would consider success. And he still wanted to end his life.

The Personality Paradox

Here is what I have learned from digging into the psychology of all this.

Psychologists have identified five major personality traits, often called the Big Five. Two of them are especially common among high achievers: conscientiousness and neuroticism.

Conscientiousness

This is the trait that makes you disciplined, organized, and driven to achieve. People high in conscientiousness set goals, follow through, and hold themselves to high standards. It is a great trait for success.

But there is a dark side. High conscientiousness is linked to perfectionism, obsessive thinking, and difficulty relaxing. When you are wired to always be achieving, you never feel like you have done enough. The goalposts keep moving. And when you inevitably fall short of your own impossible standards, the self-criticism can be brutal.

Neuroticism

This trait describes emotional sensitivity, tendency toward negative emotions, and reactivity to stress. You might think this would be bad for success. But it is not that simple.

Many successful people are high in neuroticism. The same sensitivity that makes them prone to anxiety also makes them alert to threats, risks, and opportunities that others miss. They feel things more intensely, including the desire to prove themselves.

The problem is that neuroticism makes you more vulnerable to depression and anxiety disorders. You are running on a system that is more reactive, more sensitive, and harder to regulate. That is useful when you need to spot problems. It is exhausting when you need to rest.

Why High Achievers Are Prone to Depression

I have thought a lot about why this pattern keeps showing up. Here is what I think is going on.

First, the same drive that leads to achievement often comes from a place of not feeling good enough. A lot of high achievers grew up with conditional approval. They were loved when they succeeded and ignored or criticized when they failed. So they learn to chase achievement as a way to feel worthy. But that feeling never lasts.

Second, high achievers tend to tie their identity to their performance. If you are a writer and your book does badly, who are you? If you are a CEO and your company struggles, what is your value? When your self-worth is tied to outcomes that you cannot fully control, you are setting yourself up for crisis.

Third, the neuroplasticity that makes your brain good at focusing and achieving also makes it good at ruminating. The same neural pathways that drive relentless pursuit of goals can also drive relentless self-criticism.

Continue reading: Managing Mental Health While Pursuing Ambitious Goals covers the loneliness of leadership, imposter syndrome, the difference between healthy striving and destructive perfectionism, and practical strategies for staying well while chasing big goals.